connection attempt failed, server is on Vista , viewing with WIndows 7 - not firewall

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connection attempt failed, server is on Vista , viewing with WIndows 7 - not firewall

macsrods
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error in TightVNC Viewer
"a connection attempt failed because the connected party did not properly respond after a period of time or established connection failed because connected host has failed to respond."

I searched and found nothing like my situation
tnt version 2.7.10
Turned off firewall on vista server , and found tnt viewer was on the allow list but still same useless error.

I got it to work on my 2 laptops and ipad but they are all on my local wireless network.
tired a couple of different ports
any Ideas?
Trying to support an old friend across the country.
Mac
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